Seventeen years is a long time to miss you, dad. It seems so long ago since you were here on this earth. There are so many things I miss about you. I know this is odd, but one of the things I miss most is your hands. They were so unique and strong. You and I had trouble communicating sometimes. But I know you tried. One of the ways you tried was this “thing” between you and I and our hands…..I would randomly pass you in the house and you would put out a hand for me to hit as I passed. We never talked about it, we didn’t plan it, it just happened. But I never forgot it. Sometimes, I think about that small exchange between us and I just miss it so much.
Most of us point with our “pointer” finger…you would point out a verse or words in a newspaper with your middle finger of your right hand. Sometime I find myself doing that, too, as I hold my place on a recipe card or in a book. It makes me think about you every time. I watched those hands open hymn books and the Word of God so many times…or turning pages of your Sunday School lesson. I can see them pitching a softball game and bouncing a basketball. I see them teaching me to hold a bat and pitching softballs to me. They put money in the offering plate and gave money (and one time, even a car), to a stranger. They made your kids fudge and hot chocolate and tomato soup with peanut butter sandwiches. They pulled the covers to my chin before you kissed me goodnight.
Sometimes they pointed at me in anger…I usually deserved it. But they also patted me on the back when I did something well. They gave me away when I married Steve and they held my girls when they came into the world. I can see those wonderful hands moving in animation while you read the girls “The Three Little Pigs”.
And…I can see them waving goodbye to me as I left the hospital room the last time I saw you alive.
I know you may think it is a strange thing to miss, dad. But I would do anything to feel them squeeze my hand one more time. I know that someday, when we are both in heaven together, I will reach for and see those wonderful hands again. I will be so thankful to see them! I miss you.